So, I started taking voice lessons again. My first lesson was Wednesday.
I’m still having a hard time organizing my thoughts regarding this. My mind has been racing since I booked that first lesson. I could hardly sit still the day of the lesson. I couldn’t sleep for the next two nights after the lesson.
It’s like there was this part of me that had finally emerged from the jail cell I’d unknowingly locked it up in, Shawshank Redemption style.
I’ve alluded to the studio I’m taking lessons with, and because I’m also trying to build my own studio and I’m not officially certified by this studio to use their name for those purposes, I won’t tell you who they are here (ask if you want to know). Suffice it to say (one more time) that I’ve gotten recommendations for this studio from professional musicians. These guys are good.
I have to say, I don’t know what finally possessed me to book lessons, but it was the best, best thing I ever could have done. I’ve been told all of my life that I have an exceptional talent for singing, but I have never felt as though I was as good as I wanted to be. I know when I first moved to town, the thing that kept me from taking lessons was the money. Then it was that my time and energy levels were low and my dreams of making music for a living were slowly turning from fire to embers. I have gone months without writing songs, spent weeks at a time listening to NPR in the car instead of singing (I mean, I love NPR, but music. Music is important), and… I don’t know. I wasn’t unhappy. But I have not been excited about anything in years – especially music.
Showing up at that studio on Wednesday reignited all those things in me that I had forgotten I could feel.
So, I met my coach, who was an absolute doll – so fun, personable, and of course, one hell of a vocalist, and we sang. We just… sang. We sang, and I walked out of my lesson singing things I have never, ever, in all of my years of private lessons and choirs and musical theater and TRYING MY DAMN HARDEST, been able to sing. I also think I (oh my good grief, finally) found my whistle register later that night, singing in the car on the way home.
Who just accidentally finds their whistle register?
Well, maybe a lot of people actually, but you have to be doing a million other things right first.
I’ve been singing non-stop all the rest of the week, trying these new techniques I’ve either learned or been reminded of, singing songs that have always been killer on my voice. Now, they’re coming out effortlessly. I mean, come on. I spent 50 minutes with this girl and suddenly I can sing every Sara Evans song in existence? This is too good to be true.
I told myself for quite some time that, you know, why would you bother “wasting” money on voice lessons? You went to college for this stuff. You’re already supposed to know what you’re doing. Also, are you performing anywhere anymore? What exactly are you investing in here anyway?
But I’ll tell you what I’ve learned. One – you’re never so good or so educated that you can’t keep learning. I mean – we all hear that, right? And this certainly isn’t the first time YOU have heard that from anyone. Sometimes you just need to figure those things out for yourself. Take that pride, throw it on the ground, and stomp on it. There is always something to learn. Two – What exactly am I investing in here anyway? My freaking happiness, that’s what.
Do what you love. Do it.