The Match
That boy I’m dating said something that sparked a lot of hurt last weekend.
Yes, we’re still together. Yes we talked about it. Yes, I’m trying to be the bigger person and considering compromise and all that classy mumbo jumbo.
But for honesty’s sake, I’d like to make a confession.
It took me little more than seconds after he said it for me to decide ONLINE DATING SOUNDED LIKE A GREAT IDEA.
Now, okay. There are other factors at work here.
There was a time, about a year ago, when I told myself if something or other didn’t work out (I don’t even remember which imaginary relationship I was in at that point) that I was going to give online dating a serious try. This was, of course, before the new job, and the circle of friends my own age with their own circles of friends my own age that I could mix and mingle with and my shot at meeting somebody in real life was basically, as far as I could see anyway, non-existent.
Then I DID meet somebody who I went on a few dates with, although in the name of full disclosure here, I did first meet him online on 20SB. But that was different in my head because I wasn’t using 20SB as a dating service. No, really! I wasn’t!
Okay maybe I was.
That aside, it didn’t seem creepy because I was just hanging out at 20SB like it was an online local coffee shop. I’d met plenty of other people, girls and guys, because of 20SB. I got to kind of fool myself into thinking I found something extra special in an ordinary sort of place. I could flirt and there was no pressure. I knew, in most cases, it really wouldn’t go anywhere, and that if it did, it was because we both really wanted it to.
Not like a dating site where you go in with your main goal being to meet people in person.
And that didn’t work out, but then I met Andrew at a music conference in Nashville.
And that didn’t work out, but then I met Ryan at a coffee shop in town.
And that’s been working it’s way along ever since, and I guess that means I never really had to resort to online dating.
But part of me has still been curious and since I’ve suddenly been thrown back into the If Something Better Comes Along Feel Free To Take It Zone (or apparently we never left that zone?) I thought, hell. Whatever. Nothing will come of it anyway because it creeps me out SO. Let’s just do it to say I did.
Let me save you some trouble right now. Plenty Of Fish is full of creepers. It was my first choice because I knew it was free. Yeah. That’s where the poor people shop for relationships. Poor in every sense of the word. I deleted my profile the day after I created it.
Match.com was next because it really does have a pretty decent reputation. I decided to just create a profile without paying for anything… but you can’t talk to ANYBODY without paying for it! Nobody! Which is obviously how they make their money, but now my inbox is full of messages saying “So and so checked you out!” and “So and so winked at you!” and “So and so sent you a message! Sign in to read it! ….. AND PAY A MILLION DOLLARS.”
Or $30. Whatever.
So I have no idea if my potential suitors on Match.com are creepers and I suppose at this point its only $30 but when I’ve got a boy who sometimes says things that don’t make me happy but who I’m also totally sure isn’t Creepy McCreeperson, and I got him for free, well, I kinda wanna just take my chances.
I haven’t deleted that profile though.
And the last one?
No, I didn’t veer down the road and head for eHarmony. Oh no.
Let’s talk about Catholic Match.com.
Except for I shouldn’t say it with such implied disdain because it’s really not creepy-face at all. It’s cool because it’s more or less all Catholics and there are little surveys that show you pretty much how Catholic everybody is, so you can decide how Catholic you’d like to be together. The people around these parts seem like decent human beings and most of the guys are actually pretty cute and I’m not getting winked at by 40 year old men. There are problems, though. First of all, I can’t seem to find a way to set it up to only show me people in the Nashville area. I’m not moving to Idaho, Catholic Match, and don’t you think you can make me! Yeah, sure, Justin587693 seems like a lovely, God fearing man with a great career and killer blue eyes, but he lives on THE OTHER SIDE OF THE COUNTRY. No thank you, Catholic Match. No thank you. Second, once, again, I have to pay to actually communicate with this people.
Wait. Let me say that again.
I have to pay to communicate with other Catholics on Catholic Match.com.
Let’s think about this for a moment.
You’re telling these people how Catholic I am. I’ve more or less told you exactly which church I attend and roughly how often, and since we’re all Catholic and we presumably all go to church… well…
Don’t you think I could go throw my five dollars in the basket and meet a good looking dude there? One, who, I don’t know, lives in the same time zone as I do?
Not only that, but, while I understand that the church needs money to run itself, I can’t help but wonder where that money I would pay to Catholic Match.com would be going. If they had some sort of policy about sending a portion of your money to the church you attend, I can honestly say I’d be all in. But it doesn’t seem right to me to be all, “Catholic Catholic Catholic! Church Church Church! Gimme yo monies!” I mean, is that just me?
So, in conclusion, I got a text message this morning which I’ve more or less been ignoring partially because it wasn’t an important text message, partially because I’m no mood to banter, and partially because, while not generally a player of The Game, I’d really like to give him just a tiny taste of his own medicine. Annnnnd I’ve got about 40 emails stacked up from the day from people who think I’m pretty and date worthy.
I don’t even need to date them, you guys. I just need to know I’ve got the option.
i love you. :)