Forget the back burner. My musical ambitions are in the freezer.
The reasons are compound and varied, but the fact of the matter is that I haven’t done anything productive for myself as a musician since July, and even that was just sitting down to write a song.
My BFFL (Best Friend From Life) moved in with us a month or so ago. She moved from our hometown with her camera and a dream, much like I did three years ago with my piano and notebook. But a month in, and I feel like she’s already doing bigger things for herself than I ever have.
I didn’t want to ruin what I loved with business, because business is something I have always despised. I also didn’t want to find myself using people for what they could offer me in terms of business rather than in terms of friendship, scared of being anything but genuine, myself. So I never really dove in.
But it turns out I’ve ruined what I loved anyway. I’ve wrapped myself up in a job I don’t particularly care for in a house that keeps me anything but secluded and able to concentrate, with other hobbies and interests and obligations that take up too much of my time.
I was at a used media store the other day… books, video games, movies…
I found two books full of country music from the 90s and I picked them up. I asked as I walked away with them, “Is this just a waste of money?”
No, because I’ve been playing my piano almost nightly for the first time since probably June.
Little things and baby steps. Let’s take this dream out of the freezer and move it to the back burner, at very least. Yes?