Nashville.

I’d find a house that was not too big, and not too small.  Something older but well taken care of, updated to be more energy efficient but still in possession of all its classic charm.

I’d live in the city, or very close to it, but on a quiet street with old married couples and young families.  The yard wouldn’t be big, but big enough.  There might be a white picket fence.  Maybe I’d actually paint it bright red.

I loved Minnesota.  I loved North Dakota.  I miss Montana with all my heart.  I’m not saying I will stay here forever, because I can’t see the future.  I could get married and follow my husband for career purposes, I might have kids and decide to take them closer to one family or another.  But right now, if I had to choose, I would stay here.  I’ve dreamt of living here my entire life, and so far, it hasn’t been a disappointment.

As long as it’s just me, I can’t think of any place I’d rather be.

–

Got a question? Ask me.

Is it about the song, or is it about the way it’s sung?  Or is it both?

Dolly Parton wrote “I Will Always Love You.”  It’s a great song.  She sang it with Vince Gill, she sang it solo in “The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas.”  It wouldn’t have been forgotten.  Never completely.  But Whitney Houston took that song and made it exactly what it is today: an anthem.  Dolly can sing, and she wrote one hell of a song… but be honest: which version do you consider the definitive version of that song?  Whitney’s.

That’s all to say that there is no easy answer to this question.  I love to sing, I love to write; I love them differently. I don’t know which will ever be more lasting, if either will be.  I’m no Dolly Parton and I’m no Whitney Houston and quite honestly I don’t strive to be.  I’m me.  A person can make plans, but plans very rarely get carried through exactly as you expect.

I think some people will always remember me, 19 years old, vintage black dress and a flower in my hair, singing “I Got It Bad and That Ain’t Good” into a classic 40s style microphone. My father would prefer to remember me with a microphone in hand singing “Stars Fell on Alabama” to a shabby little Minnesota auditorium.  But many of you, the people reading this, and some of my best friends, will remember me as the girl who wrote “Better Not Settle.”  One or two might remember me as the girl who wrote “What If You Don’t.”  Someone else might remember me as the girl with the ukulele and forget about the voice and the songs altogether.

I’ve recently accepted the fact that a girl can make music and be appreciated during her time and then be mostly forgotten about as the years go by.  I’d give you examples, but hey, I don’t remember most of the people it’s happened to.  I don’t expect to be Mozart or Patsy Cline.  Some names will be remembered forever, some for a few tiny moments.  And I guess what really matters is that I made the best music I could make, music I was proud of, and that I loved the rest of my life just as much as I loved crooning into a microphone.

It’s not about how many people remember you but which people remember you… and how you’re remembered?  Well… just make sure it’s good.

ask me anything.

Do I think Gen Y will make the world a better place? Haven’t we already? We stand up for what we believe in, but even more importantly, we take care of the people we love. Many of us talk big, and not all of us act on the things we say. That’s true of every generation. Those of us who are getting out there and doing things? We’re not looking at the future. We’re looking at NOW.  No matter how you look at it, the world is not going to change overnight.  There will be no whirlwind revolution.  We are never going to wake up eight hours later to see a different planet in front of us.  We work.  We do little things.  And those little things aren’t always measurable.  People don’t often notice.  They say, “What are you doing?”  Well… we’re doing the best we can.  That’s what counts.  People who believe the world can change… if all they EVER do is believe it, they did it.  That’s what I think.

Are we changing the world?  Right now?

Hell yes.

ask me anything.

What’s your opinion on the role of sex in a relationship? I ask, because I think that you’re a romantic, and I think of myself as being one too. But somehow, it’s my experience that romantics have, well, kooky ideas about sex. –anonymous.

First, I need to say that while I certainly do my best to keep it real around here, my mother included this URL in her annual Christmas letter this year.  This answer might be a bit watered down for your tastes, but I think you’ll understand.

Second, I need to confirm your suspicion.  I am the textbook definition of a romantic.

Now, to the real answer:

I was raised Catholic.

I was raised on Disney movies.

I was raised in the Media Age.

So, you know, in one world, sex was forbidden, in one it was non-existent, and the last revolved around it.

My ideas are a little skewed, and I’m not sure exactly how you’d define kooky, but I’ll just say that my ideas were, for quite some time, undefined, and still are to an extent.

I’ve done a lot of steering clear of the whole situation in the past because I don’t like feeling like I don’t get something.  If I don’t get it, I tend to pretend there’s nothing to get.

So I guess I’ve kind of gone the Disney route, where the ultimate expression of love is spinning around a library in a poofy yellow gown while a teapot sings a love song, or simply being kissed and brought back to life because some evil bitch poisoned you with a shiny red apple.

That’s the world I like to live in.  I don’t necessarily believe in happily ever afters, but I will go on buying into the pretense that relationships don’t have to be complicated.

Sex complicates things.

Ultimately, and statistically speaking, it doesn’t matter whether you’re the kind of person who sleeps with a guy the first night you meet him or wait seven months or until you’re engaged or until you’re married — divorce doesn’t discriminate… but neither do happy marriages, it seems.  Whatever happens, I think both people in the relationship really need to be on the same page as to how long they want to wait or if they’re going to wait at all and the reasons for waiting and whatnot.  All those crazy emotional details that go into figuring each other out and deciding whether or not you want to be together next month or next year or for all eternity need to include figuring sex out.

Something I really like about the guy I’m dating right now (The Boy, obvs.) is that he is more open and unabashed about the subject than anyone I’ve ever known, in a dating relationship or in a friendship.  I know what he’s thinking, and his openness is really encouraging me to work on being open and honest about the way I feel and the things I’ve experienced.  He’s been incredibly understanding and patient with me.

I think that is romantic.

So… do I have kooky ideas about sex?  Are you asking if I’m kinky?  No.  I don’t think so?  Ugh, this question is uncomfortable!  Are you asking if it’s a romantic thing for me?  Yeah.  It should be special. The end.  No discussion needed.  I mean, the whole thing does seem a little funny when you think about semantics (doesn’t it?  come on.)  but ultimately, I think, there has to be SO MUCH TRUST there, right?  Emotionally and physically.  And probably on levels I don’t even know exist.  In that sense, it is incredibly romantic.

Yeah.

Hope I answered that question satisfactorily, but hey, feel free to ask for clarification in the comments.

(to ask more questions, hit up my sidebar or find me here.)

This is like that, only different.

If you click through to the actual website (I’m just assuming that, by now, you are all in some kind of feed reader) you’ll see a little contact form in the sidebar.  I may or may not keep it there; it might get its own page.  I’ve not decided.  Either way, you can use this form to ask questions at any time.  They’ll remain in a queue, and I’ll answer them one or two at a time.

Examples of things you can ask:

• Will you post a new youtube video? Gosh. Do you know how long its been?
• What is your middle name?
• Why did the chicken cross the road?

I will do my best to answer these to your satisfaction.  Or mine.  Probably just mine.

I’m doing this for a few reasons.  First, I’ve been writing less often than I was, say, a year ago, when I was doing my best to restrain myself from blogging 38.2 times a day. Giving the muse a little push is never a bad thing.  Second, I want to open up a few more lines of communication here.  If you want to know something, all you have to do is ask.  I’ll tell you.  I’ll link you up to your question in the post (unless you ask me not to, which you totally can.)  We all get to know each other a bit better, and again, that’s never a bad thing.

So there you have it.  Now. Ask me!